How Dr. Phil Perfectly Captures the MBA Admissions Rollercoaster
I was listening to a video recently where Dr. Phil was giving a talk. He was doing what he does best: explaining our emotions in a simple and straightforward manner.
He said:
Our #1 need as humans is acceptance.
Our #1 fear as humans is rejection.
While Dr. Phil was speaking more broadly about how to cope with the current political polarization, it was a lightbulb moment for me professionally.
Over the course of working nearly thirty years in the MBA admissions space, I have witnessed the “highs” and “lows” that come with admissions decisions.
As a former admissions director, I’ve had accepted students scream with high-pitched elation in my ear when I called them to tell them they were accepted to the program.
I’ve also seen applicants have a tough time with rejection, including retreating for days to process the news.
But now the graduate admissions journey makes sense more than ever before. That’s because it basically boils down to one of two outcomes:
Acceptance
Rejection
No wonder why it feels so amazing when you get accepted to a business school. And, conversely, why it can be so incredibly painful when you are denied.
We often think of having difficulty in coping with rejection in terms of a romantic break-up in our youth. But it is something that we struggle with throughout our entire lives. (I’ve even seen this at an assisted living facility where my MIL was in tears because other 80-90-year olds excluded her from their dinner table.)
Going back to the topic of MBA admissions, I am often asked by prospective applicants if it’s worth applying. Rather than simply looking at test scores and work experience, it also makes sense to ask about resilience.
Are you ready to get on this roller coaster?
How do you cope with uncertainty or rejection?
What support systems do you have in place if things don’t work out the way you hoped?
At the same time, there’s that old Wayne Gretzky line that "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."
Think about both truths for a clear-eyed view of the journey as you make a thoughtful decision of whether it is worth applying.
Also consider this: It’s not always about you. An admissions officer at a top-ranked school told the story about an applicant who was ‘dinged’ multiple times. After their third or fourth application, this applicant was accepted. And the person turned out to be one of their best students. Upon reflecting upon all the previous denials, the admissions officer frankly exclaimed, “What were we thinking?!??”
Sometimes the schools do get it wrong. It’s not always easy to make a decision about someone’s potential with such limited information, even if that does include transcripts, test scores, resumes and recommendations.
It may feel at times that you don’t have much power in the process. But you have more power than you realize. And that’s especially true of how you respond to the outcome and how YOU decide to move forward.
